Best Super Heroes

Hello everyone, and welcome back to the REM arena. Today, you will witness what we have deemed “The Match That Should’ve Been, But Never Was.” One man is Wrestling’s ultimate icon. He is the epitome of the fame every wrestler wants to attain; he is the Immortal Hulk Hogan! And his opponent, a former King of the Ring, 2 time Intercontinental Champion, 6 time WWE Champion, and the toughest SOB ever in the WWE. He is Stone Cold Steve Austin. After a backstage argument prevented this scheduled match to take place Austin was replaced with The Rock, leaving fans to wonder “what if.” Well no more! Now if you want me stop talking and get the match started gimme a Hell Yeah! Ring the Bell!

As you would expect the match doesn’t start up like it normally would. Austin doesn’t waste anytime going after Hogan, hitting with a kick to the mid-section, and following up with some viscous punches. He backs The Hulkster into the turnbuckle, and continues to pound on him. The referee gets Austin out of the corner. As Steve walks back to his adversary he’s met with a big right hand from Hogan. Hogan continues to throw the fists until he backs Austin into he ropes. He throws Austin off the ropes, and hits him with a crooked arm lariat on the rebound. Hogan goes for a cover, but it’s a short two count. He brings Austin to his feet, and hits him with some body shots. He hit’s a big body blow that doubles over The Texas Rattlesnake. Hogan launches himself off the ropes, and hit’s a running knee lift. Hogan takes advantage of the stunned Austin, and slaps on a sleeper hold. Stone Cold struggles as he’s wrapped up in the 24-inch pythons of his adversary. The never say die attitude of Austin pays off for him as he manages to grab a hold of a rope. Hogan is forced to release the hold. Stone Cold doesn’t take any time to catch his breath, but instead lays a back elbow smash into Hogan’s head, as soon as he is released. As Hogan turns around to retaliate, The Bionic Redneck lifts him flapjack style, and drops him throat first on the ring rope. Austin covers, but it’s only a two.

Austin commences to stomping the living daylights out his opponent. The referee tells him to back off and he does…for a moment. As soon as the ref gets out of his path he goes right back to stomping the Immortal One. The ref tells him to knock it off, and he does…for a moment. Once more Stone Cold stomps on Hogan. This time the ref threatens a disqualification. Austin then stands over his beaten opponent. He stands at his adversary’s head, and looks around the arena. He smirks, that Austin smirk, then mocks Hogan by twirling his wrist, and cupping his ear to which the crowd chants “WHAT?” He does this to all four sides of the audience, and bounces off the rope to hit Hogan’s signature Leg Drop. Austin covers again, but it’s no good. Austin brings his opponent to his feet, and hit’s a European uppercut. Austin throws The Hulkster into the ropes, and prepares for a back body drop. Hogan stops short, and kicks him in the chest. Hogan follows up with a clothesline, and then another, and then another. Finally he back body drops Austin. He looks at the crowd, and gets them pumped. He launches Austin into the ropes, but when he comes back Hogan is met with a Thesz press, and his opponents fists.

Austin gets on the second rope, and poses for the crowd. They can’t help but cheer both men. Stone Cold walks back over to his fallen adversary and drops an elbow on him, followed by another. Austin goes to the second rope once more, and jumps for a pointed elbow drop, but Hogan moves. As Austin gets back to his feet, holding his arm, Hogan puts an abdominal stretch on him. You can see the pain in Austin’s face from the stretch. He tries to get out of it but he can’t. As Hulk continues to hold the submission he starts hitting the exposed rib cage of his opponent with massive clubbing blows. Finally he releases Austin, but takes him back down with a snap mare. From there he puts a rear chin lock on Austin, complete with a knee in the back. Hogan realizes he can’t out brawl The Texas Rattlesnake, so he’s going to have to get a bit more technical than he’s used to. Hogan cranks the hold, but Austin manages to slowly work his way up to his feet. He hits Hogan in the stomach with a few side elbow shots. He pushes Hogan off of him, and tries for a clothesline on the rebounding adversary. However, Hogan ducks to pull and switch and go behind, resulting in him controlling a rear waist lock on Austin. Then Hogan lifts him into the air, and arches his back to hit German suplex. Something we don’t really see from Hogan too much. Hogan pins his opponent, but Austin gets a foot on the ropes.

Things don’t look good for Austin who’s holding his neck. Hogan brings Austin up and sends him into the corner. He hit’s The Rattlesnake with a clothesline in the corner. He sends Austin into the other corner hard enough it knocks him to the ground. Hogan takes advantage and locks on the Camel Clutch. He wrenches on the hold, nearly breaking Austin’s back. Austin is able to get one of his feet on the ropes. Lucky he was near the turnbuckle. Hogan brings up his adversary and tries for a suplex, but Austin drops behind and rolls up Hogan with a schoolboy for a two. Hogan recovers and goes for a clothesline, but misses. When he turns around Stone Cold greets him with a kick to the gut, and tries for a Stunner. Hulk pushes him into the ropes though, and when he comes back catches him in a bear hug. The Hulkster’ 24 inch pythons squeeze as hard as they can around Austin’s torso. He holds him there, and doesn’t budge. The Bionic Redneck gets up enough strength to clap his opponent’s head. He does it a second time and the grip loosens. A third time breaks the hold. Austin follows up by taking Hogan down with a big lariat. Austin bounces off the ropes, does a little taunt, and drops a pointed elbow on Hogan. He grabs a hold of The Hulkster’s legs, and drags him to where they are lined up with the turnbuckle. Stone Cold keeps a hold of the legs and falls backwards, catapulting Hogan into the corner. Austin gets up, and walks over to his battered rival.

He grabs the head of his nemesis, and starts ramming it into the turnbuckle. He trash talks Hogan while he’s doing it. Suddenly it seems as though they aren’t taking affect anymore. Austin keeps slamming the head in to the corner, but they only see to invigorate Hogan. Hogan moves out of the corner on his own accord as Austin continues to beat on him, shaking, as he’s Hulking up. Then Hogan points a finger at Austin, and yells, in unison with the crowd, “YOU!” Austin throws a punch, but it’s blocked. Hogan fires back with three big rights until Stone Cold is backed in to the ropes. He sends Austin into the opposite ropes, and hits him with the Big Boot. Hogan is now the one twirling his wrist, and cupping his hand. He bounces off the ropes, jumps into the air, and hit’s The Atomic Leg Drop on to Austin’s injured neck. 1…2…3! Wait no! Austin manages, by the slightest of margins, to get a shoulder up off the mat. Maybe that wouldn’t have happened if an exhausted Hogan had hooked the leg. Regardless Hogan is stunned. He’s not sure what to do, so he goes off the ropes for another one. He took to long to get his bearings though, as Austin moves out of the way just in time. Austin hangs on to the ropes, and tries to pull himself up in the corner. Meanwhile Hulk charges toward him, but The Texas Rattlesnake moves out of the way. As Hogan staggers back towards him, he nails a high impact delayed spine buster, and covers for the two.

Austin goes to whip Hogan into the ropes. But Hogan half reverses it to where he’s behind Austin, and hits an Atomic Drop. Hogan bounces off the ropes, and nails Austin with another crooked arm lariat. Hogan brings Austin up, and hit’s a BIG body slam. He covers for a two. Hogan lays in some elbow drops, and then a standing Bonzai drop, which is also good for a two. The Hulkster brings Stone Cold to a standing position. He Gorilla Presses him, and lets him fall behind. Then he bounces off the ropes, and hit’s a big splash. Another pin fall, another two. Hogan starts to stomp away at Austin forcing him towards the turnbuckle. He lifts Austin up so he can continue to pound him. However, after a punch Austin doesn’t seem fazed. Another and The Rattlesnake just looks at Hogan. One more, and Austin walks out of the corner with his head bobbing, yelling something inaudible. Austin is Hulking up. Hogan continues to throw punches, though futile, at Austin. Austin flips off Hogan with hand while yelling at him. Hogan throws one more punch that is blocked by Austin, who follows up with one punch, two punch, and before the third one flips off Hogan again, and then hits him with a third one. He sends Hogan into the ropes, and when he comes back Stone Cold kicks him in the mid-section, and hit’s the stunner. 1…2…NO! Hogan barely kicks out.

Austin brings up his adversary, and locks in a old move of his, The Million Dollar Dream. He holds it as best he can, but eventually Hulk is able to reach the ropes. No rests for the weary though as Austin follows up with a Russian leg sweep. Hogan tries to pull himself up in the corner, but as soon as he reaches a vertical base Stone Cold Steve Austin is right on him with kicks to the gut. The ref tries to call off Austin, but he continues to stomp away at Hogan, eventually getting him down into a seated position in the corner. The ref keeps telling Austin to back off, and he does…long enough to get in the referee’s face. He goes back to stomping a mud hole in Hogan, but it doesn’t seem to be hurting The Immortal One. He starts to get reinvigorated again. Austin continues his stomping. Hogan slowly brings himself back up. Hogan points at Austin, and once more in unison with the crowd yells “YOU!” Austin tries to continue stomping, but Hogan catches the leg, and lays in three big rights hands. He sends him into the ropes, and gets the leg up for the big boot. Austin has other ideas as he catches the leg. He looks as Hogan, and responds with an emphatic “Ahn-Ah”. Austin swings the leg, and when Hogan comes back around he nails him in the gut with a kick, and hits another Stone Cold Stunner. Austin covers. 1…2…3! Austin wins, Austin wins.

Well I thought that was pretty good. It was a good match we haven’t seen before, and probably never will again. That’s all for this week. Thank you for reading, now…GET OUTTA MY HEAD!!!!!



By: Massimo Martinini

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